SOCIALISM:
        You have two cows.  Give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM:
        You have two cows.
        Give both to the government.  The government gives you milk.
CAPITALISM:
        You sell one cow and buy a bull.
FACISM:
        You have two cows.  Give milk to the government.
        The government sells it.
NAZISM:
        The government shoots you and takes the cows.
NEW DEALISM:
        The government shoots one cow,
        milks the other, and pours the milk down the sink.
ANARCHISM:
        Keep the cows.  Steal another one.  Shoot the government.
CONSERVATISM:
        Freeze the milk.  Embalm the cows.